


Monster

by FreeShavocadoo



Series: SWORD songfics [3]
Category: HiGH&LOW (Movies), HiGH&LOW: the Story of S.W.O.R.D. (TV)
Genre: Dysfunctional Relationship, M/M, Songfic, Unconventional Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 00:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15376287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreeShavocadoo/pseuds/FreeShavocadoo
Summary: Noboru finds himself completely tangled in Nikaido's web. Nikaido remains hard to read.Based on the song 'Monster' by EXO.





	Monster

_He got me goin' crazy_   
_Why is my heart racing?_

_You are beautiful,_   
_you are a goddess_   
_Yet your heart's closed (yeah, yeah)_   
_I'm knocking on the door_   
_Will you let me in?_   
_I will give you a hidden thrill._

Sometimes it’s like even in a room full of Yakuza, the only face Noboru can see is Nikaido’s. Only high cheekbones, narrow sloped eyes and a mouth permanently set into the ghost of a smirk. Like he’s looking at Noboru even when he’s eyes aren’t on him, like he’s seeing him without having to put those dangerous eyes anywhere in his direction.

 _‘ **Burn your past’**_ , he’d said to Noboru all that time ago, so relaxed and refined in a place full of the downtrodden. Noboru couldn’t help but be enchanted by the energy the man radiated, a quiet charisma. He knew it was dangerous to listen but that hardly helped Noboru to follow his instincts. One side of him tells him that it’s a lost cause, that he could never truly deny Nikaido. The other tells him that he shouldn’t go down without a fight.

When he congratulates Noboru for his good work, adjusting the collar of his shirt, his eyes seem to burn holes into Noboru’s chest. Noboru swears when he lets out a shaky exhale, Nikaido laughs softly, even if it doesn’t reach his eyes which remain firmly on Noboru’s face, narrowing.

“Maybe you’re in over your head,” he whispers near Noboru’s neck, so close that he can feel Nikaido’s breath against his neck, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end, “Noboru-kun.”

 

 _I see your eyes_  
_You can't deny you've already fallen for me_  
 _Don't be afraid, love is the way_

_Shawty, I got it,_

_You can call me monster._

 

Everyone often says not to bite the hand that feeds you, and Noboru was all too aware of the fact he owed his survival in the Yakuza to Nikaido. He could never entirely figure out Nikaido’s motives for keeping him close by, the man was a fortress and even when Noboru heard the other Yakuza talking about him, it seemed there was nobody who truly knew Nikaido. On the other hand, Nikaido seemed to have Noboru pinned down with relative ease, fully aware of what Noboru was thinking and going to do before it’d even dawned on Noboru.

Sometimes when it was quiet, Noboru would watch Nikaido pour himself tea meticulously from the doorway, observing the care with which Nikaido managed the entire process. Noboru doesn’t think he’s ever seen the man undone, everything always pristine and in perfect order. Nikaido doesn’t even look up from his drink and he knows Noboru is there.

“Noboru-kun,” his voice is smooth and teasing, “it’s rude to stare.”

“Apologies.” Noboru bows his head, his neck flushing, embarrassed at the prospect that Nikaido most likely knew he was there the entire time but had just neglected to say anything.

“Well then be a good boy,” he motions to the opposite side of the table, to the cushions on the floor, “and sit.”

Noboru knows better than to protest and politely sits down, rubbing his hands nervously on his pants in an attempt to rid his palms of the sweat that was building up.

“Is something wrong?” Nikaido smiles and Noboru is reminded of a shark, a smile that is just as dangerous as a threat, a scathing stare that promises something Noboru isn’t sure he wants to be privy to.

“Not at all, Nikaido-san.” He clears his throat, averting his gaze. He can feel the flush spreading over his cheeks and tries not to notice the fact Nikaido’s eyes haven’t left their position on Noboru’s face.

 

_I’m creeping in your heart, babe,_

_I will overturn you, break and swallow you,_

_Yeah, I steal you and indulge in you,_

_I will ruin you._

After the incident with the red rum factory, Noboru is fully aware he’s about to fall victim to Nikaido’s solution to disobedience. As soon as Nikaido looks at him, he can feel the disappointment rolling from him, even more so when Kirinji finds it suitable to gloat. Nikaido tells Kirinji sharply to shut his mouth and lands his first kick on Noboru, knocking him to the floor with ease. Noboru wonders if he’s deluded in thinking he kicked him to the floor so nobody can truly deduce how much he’s holding back when he kicks Noboru, Noboru who knows from experience with watching the others that this is clearly a shadow of what Nikaido is capable of. When Nikaido’s eyes latch onto his own, Noboru just stares silently, wondering why he’s thankful.

By the time the others have left, Noboru feels sensitive to the eyes that were all on him moments ago, the feeling of vulnerability making him feel useless in a way he hasn’t since the attack he carried out that landed him in prison. Nikaido drops down in front of him, his hand cupping Noboru’s cheek, so tenderly that Noboru feels a complete sense of disconnect, trying to piece the man staring searchingly at him now with the one that was above him mere moments ago.

“You disappointed me, Noboru-kun,” he whispers, running his thumb across Noboru’s lips, “you know I don’t like to be disappointed, don’t you?”

Noboru nods, keeping his gaze downwards. Even though he’s aware there were more factors at play than just his own involvement, he can’t help but actually feel disappointed in himself. Noboru ponders at what moment he exactly became so tangled in Nikaido’s web.

“Will you do better next time?” Nikaido murmurs, his face inches from Noboru’s, “for me?”

“Yes.” Noboru replies, his voice shaking. Nikaido’s hand remains on his cheek, his thumb running up and down slowly.

Nikaido moves closer still, pulling Noboru into a kiss that was much slower than he’d anticipated, not the aggressive and fast kiss that Noboru would have expected from him. It was deliberate, dragged out and passionate, Nikaido’s hand sliding from Noboru’s cheek into his hair to pull him closer. When Nikaido pulls away, it takes every ounce of Noboru’s self-control not to whine.

“Good boy.” He whispers, standing up once more and exiting the room.

_I will live forever,_

_Even if I die, I’m carved in your memory,_

_Come here,_

_You call me monster,_

_I will enter your heart._

The package drops in front of him with a dull thud, its shape easily distinguishable. Nikaido stands before him, Noboru on the floor once more before him, wondering how he ever ended up here, completely at this man’s mercy.

“There’s only one road left.” His voice is hard, his eyes unreadable. Noboru swears he can see the tension in his neck, the way his hands remain in his pockets clenched.

“Please-,” Noboru attempts to plead with him before being cut off,

“There is no place for you in the Iemura group anymore,” Noboru’s eyes stuck on the package in front of him, wondering why he’s being given a gun if he’s not even part of their group anymore, “in the end, you’ll have to settle things for yourself.”

Nikaido’s back is to him, his head bowed and his voice low. Noboru is conflicted in questioning whether Nikaido is against having to do this or if he’s the one who has suggested it. Nikaido turns suddenly, leaning down in front of Noboru like he had done so many times before. His hand once again caresses Noboru’s cheek, Nikaido’s eyes uncharacteristically readable.

“I told you to burn your past,” he murmurs, nuzzling his face near Noboru’s neck, “you didn’t listen to me.”

“I’m sorry, Nikaido-san.” Noboru replies automatically, surprised himself by how genuinely he feels apologetic for this man. He supposes its hard to describe the connection you feel with someone who offers you a way out of prison, a way out of your own head and the violence you’d inflicted with your own fists, scared of your own strength.

“No matter, Noboru-kun,” he kisses Noboru’s head, standing up, “you’ll do what you think is right. As will I.”

 

_I’m toying with you in my palm however I want,_

_Don’t run away, you will linger forever,_

_You can call me monster._

The faces that drift in and out of Noboru’s vision are blurred, the medication leaving his memories unclear and confusing. He’d always hated hospitals but now he did even more, left staring up at a white ceiling, delirious and vulnerable.

The next blink he takes is a long one, trying to ignore the aching in his bones, the sharp pains from the smallest movements. When he opens his eyes again he’s completely startled, seeing a face he thought he’d never see again leaning over him. Noboru is brought back to the floor of the Iemura meeting room once more, staring up into the eyes of a man who often has his life in the palm of his hand.

“Noboru-kun,” Nikaido’s voice is low, still as smooth as ever, “you’ve gotten yourself into a lot of trouble this time.”

His fingers run down the side of Noboru’s face, continuing down his neck all the way to the drip in his arm, before stopping.

“Didn’t I teach you anything?” He stares inquiringly, Noboru is aware of how vulnerable he currently is, yet still can’t find any fear in himself, “You’ve been too reckless.”

“Nikaido-san, what are you doing here?” Noboru’s voice is scratchy and weak, but his stare is firm, grabbing onto Nikaido’s hand with such sudden intent that Nikaido flinches a little.

“I suppose I thought I ought to see you before I said goodbye for good.” He muses, rubbing his thumb on the back of Noboru’s hand in a bizarre show of affection.

“I thought you’d already said goodbye.” Noboru can’t help the bitterness in his voice, feeling oddly rejected by a man whose feelings are still a complete mystery to him, a man who never made his intentions clear.

“Well, I guess we were both left rather empty handed, weren’t we, Noboru?” His smile is forced, sardonic. Noboru notes the lack of honorific and is curious as to what it signifies, yet is aware he will probably only have moments left with the man standing by his bedside.

“You never left me empty handed.” Noboru replies, kissing Nikaido’s hand briefly before letting it go. “Goodbye, Nikaido.”

Nikaido’s eyes are wide, a small flush creeping across his high cheekbones, his mouth opening and closing a few times. Noboru thinks he’s probably the only person alive right now to see him this open, this genuine. _And it’s because of_ _me_ , Noboru thinks, _I made him do that._

“Goodbye, Noboru.”

With that, he readjusts his suit and exits swiftly, not looking back even when he shuts the door behind him. Noboru gives himself a moment to exhale a breath he feels like he’d been holding for the entire interaction, only then noticing it by his bedside.

A pristine, white silk scarf.

Nikaido’s favourite.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> It's always hard to get a solid translation of the lyrics but I feel like whatever translation you look at, it suits the two perfectly.


End file.
